are neither right nor wrong, but it's important not to
act upon your feelings in ways that are harmful to
yourself or others. Before you act upon your feelings by
stuffing them inward or by expressing a particular
behavior, you should try to understand where your
feelings are coming from. Try these techniques to help
you get in touch with your feelings:
- Set a digital
watch so it beeps every half-hour. When it beeps,
ask yourself: What am I feeling right now
(happiness, anger, peace, frustration, etc.)?
What is the real source or cause of this feeling?
If the feeling is negative, what action do I need
- Sit quietly for 20
minutes in a comfortable position. Relax by doing
some deep breathing. Then let your consciousness
move slowly around your body and mind, noticing a
tense muscle, a vague sense of dread or
anticipation, a recurring image or idea. Say
"hello" to whatever sensation comes up,
and then let it pass.
- Write for 10
minutes without stopping. Write whatever comes
into your head, without judging or stopping to
compose what you're going to say. Don't worry
about whether what you write is true or fair to
others. No one's going to see it but you.
- With a trusted
friend, take turns sharing whatever comes into
your head for 10 minutes. Give each other
permission to be outrageous and "off the
record" in what is said. Agree that nothing
you exchange is to be repeated.
- If you have
trouble acknowledging an emotion, such as anger
or fear, make a list. For instance, "I am
angry because..." Start with small, silly
things if you can't think of anything serious.
Keep adding to the list until you get to what